A small Slurpee costs 89 cents, a candy bar costs 75 cents, but you only have one dollar. What do you do?
A) Buy the Slurpee.
B) Buy the candy bar.
C) Stash the candy bar in the Slurpee and gank it.
Answer: Send Slurpees to Transworld at 353 Airport Road, Oceanside, California 92054. Or e-mail us some candy bars at skatemag@twsnet.com¿Shad 900 Hi, I need to know how to do a 900 on a vert ramp. I can do one off a curb, and I can do a 540 kickflip, but you have to help me.¿Caleb Vainikka via e-mail
No problem, home skillet.1. Roll up parallel to the handrail with medium speed.2. Spin 900 degrees.3. Roll away smooth.¿Shaddy Hawk
ESSAY LENGTH: 224 WORDS Modus operandi, Latin for (a) a method of operating or functioning, or (b) a person's manner of working. I think I deserve TransWorld SKATEboarding's tenth skateboarding video, Modus Operandi, because I'm devoted to skateboarding and really want the video. It showcases the relentless talents of Brian Anderson, Chany Jeanguenin, Mike Carroll, and Marc Johnson, with special guests Brad Staba, Chris Lambert, Stephane Larance, Rick Howard, and Scott Johnston. I have several other skateboarding videos, but I can tell this one is like no other because it is brought to you by TransWorld SKATEboarding¿the best skateboarding company in the world. This video has more special effects than The Matrix and Star Wars Episode I combined. Oh yeah man, it's got the latest technology. The tricks are so awesome that they have to be computer-generated, because no one in their right mind would try to pull the same tricks as the skaters do that are in this video. I have yet to see the video, but I really hope to, and I am brownnosing TWS as much as I can to get it. This video holds the true meaning of life¿that TransWorld SKATEboarding is the coolest, tightest, dopest, sickest, most ass-kicking company that is out there today.¿Craig Bailey via e-mail
Answer: 59 words.Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Video's in the mail blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Nobody else send any essays blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I had a fish taco for lunch blah blah blah blah blah Now it's swimming out my poophole blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.¿Blah
REDNECK SCIENTIST Howdy-doo. Ah like th' mag. Th' sequence of Daniel Shimizu on th' Augest 2000 issue's page 177 is impressive, but its capshun reads "Backside hurricanes is so sick! Fry mah hide!" Backside hurricanes is fevahed, but th' statement is not terribly relevant, and unfo'tunately implies a fallacy: Thet Shimizu is hyar executin' one. In th' case thet it is not intirely clear t'yer staff, th' maneuvah pitcherd is a frontside (not backside) hurricane (to fakie). Furthermo'e, hurricanes t'fakie is usually referred t' as feebles t'fakie, th' "backside" designashun bein' in this hyar instance superfluous on account o' thet o'ientashun is assoomd default owin' t'th' paucity of th' "frontside" specimen (pioneered circa 1988 Era Vulgaris). It is also born an' raised out by th' direckshun of its grind regarded as de rigueur, and hyarin lies th' matter of Samurai Shimizu's stratagem¿th' impetus of its misclassificashun and indeed its fo'emost attribute of sickliness: It is alley-oop! Fry mah hide! So ... alley-oop (backside) feeble grinds t'fakie is affecked wif disease!¿Brian Berge, Erus, Ratio Comission Tabula Rota Southern California
Brian, originally your letter was really well-written and almost sounded like a scientist wrote it. But now that it's gone through an Internet redneck dialectizer, we don't know what the hell you're talking about.¿100-Watt Warlocks
STAFF TRICKS Hey, could you guys stop printing letters with kids asking stuff like "What's the difference between a boardslide and a lipslide?" It's not wrong for them not to know, it's just that it's pretty boring to read letters like that. But then again, for all I know, you guys might receive so muchh useless junk that that's the best you have. Oh, it would be cool if you did a thing in one issue where you showed some of the members of the staff doing tricks. I know that the odds are a million to one that you'll do that, but just thought I'd suggest it.¿Wesley via e-mailP.S. Don't waste your time printing letters like this, either.
Wesley, the best trick that ever went down at Transworld was when pyromaniac Dave Swift decided to play with Bestine (a highly flammable solvent). Dave had a paper towel coated with Bestine and thought it would be funny to light it on fire. The huge ten-foot-high fireball that erupted pretty much burned Dave's eyebrows off as he attempted to stomp the fire out. We now have a four-foot section of melted carpet to remind us of this, but no pictures.¿Shrad Lambchop
PLEASE IGNORE ME! I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you that I think the way you don't even pay attention to the questions and comments of your interested readers is, well, damn funny! Keep it up! ¿Jeremy Snyder, Pensacola, Florida
Today I will repossess my title as the supreme Ping-Pong assassin.¿Schrapnel
DOWN UNDER G'day mates in America. How are things over there? This is a short note to all those people who think we live in the outback and we own our own kangaroos. Well, we don't. We live in the big city and skate in every area we find. What some of you Americans don't know is that we're becoming more and more like you guys. I was reading your May 2000 issue, and it's amazing that all your pics are mostly of Americans. Well, I know you do this because that's where you live, but have you ever thought of having an issue that is on Australian skaters? You'd be surprised how we skate. See ya' round Gs.¿Chris from Australia
Chris, that's a great idea. I'm thinking we should do an all-Australian issue except make it completely upside-down!¿Shhhhhhh
$KATEBOARDING? I work at the local shop, and over the past four months skateboards and gear have sold out like crazy, which is good because the shops are doing good business. But the thing that's bugging me is seven out of ten boards that we sell are to first-time skaters. It's good to see people getting stoked on skating, but has skating gone to cheeseville? Four out of ten buyers ask for a Birdhouse deck with Tony's wheels and mention a 900 somewhere in there. Two out of ten ask for the deck that matches their Tech Deck. Now I was once a little punk naive skateboarder (probably still am), but my only problem is it seems like the heart of skating has been ripped out. Has capitalism finally cashed in on our fun and pride? Or will popularity make a stronger, more defined community, equaling more parks and less cops? I guess it shouldn't matter, 'cause I still skate every day. It's just hard when something close to you is exploited.¿via e-mail
As long as there are real skateboarders like yourself out there to keep the kids in check, we've got nothing to worry about.¿S.L. TONY RUGRODEN I am writing to thank you for printing the article written by Kanten Russell about the benefit demo in your August 2000 issue. My name is Randy Rugroden, I'm Tony's dad¿the boy the article was about. Tony passed away on May 2, 2000 at the age of 12. The time he spent with pro skateboarders Kanten Russell and Dave Mayhew was the happiest time of his life. I cannot thank them or the great people at Osiris enough for sharing their time, talents, and friendship with my son and our family. Thanks again.¿Randy Rugroden, Albert Lea, Minnesota
