What up, homies? My new iMac is pimped out with a DVD player so I can watch movies all day while I pretend to be working. Ohhhhh! Jet Li just broke off a backflip razor kick against The Killing Machine in Fist Of Legend. I better replay that. Send DVDs to: TransWorld SKATEboarding, 353 Airport Road, Oceanside, California 92054. Or send your jacked e-mails to skatemag@twsnet.com.¿Shadrock
EEEFFGGRR Does it seem odd to anyone that roller-hockey players have more padding on their hips than on their genitals? This took me like five minutes to write, so you better damn well enjoy it.¿Scott Wilson, Des Moines, Iowa
Remember in Happy Gilmore when he talks about all his past jobs? Like when he's a security guard and sticks his nightstick in his friend's ear, or when he's the gas attendant and starts spraying with his gas pump, or when he's a janitor and he sticks the mop between his legs and gets freaky. Yeah? I'm doing that dksjhcbdhj with my keyboard ascacdacdddc right now. Wewcwqcwc cccccecc eqkwejcn pwqekjcnkqwc kqcckjkcnckjnnk ccccccqep.wq.¿"You no want breakfast?"
DAZED AND CONFUSED Hello. I am a solo fingerboard rider for White Star Skateboards. I was just wondering, can you make a fingerboarding movie that would have me as the star, or like narrator or something? My company White Star wants to make a fingerboarding video. Please respond with any questions you might have.¿Eric Hartford via e-mail
Have you seen the movie Aliens? Remember the part where that lady is stuck on the wall covered in alien slime about to have a creature burst out of her chest, and she's screaming, "Please! Kill me! Killlllllll meeee!" Your letter makes me wish I was her.¿Shazbot
GLADIATOR Me and some weird kid were skateboarding in front of my house, and we started fighting. Our parents were out front, so we wanted to make it look like a game. We called it "Gladiator Skater." We would start from opposite ends of the street and go kind of fast at each other, and try to hit each other off of our boards. We wanted to know if you've heard of anything like this, and if you haven't, could you give us credit for making it up?¿Sincerely, Dave and Weird Kid
Dave, haven't you seen the movie Thrashin'? Skaters have been rolling around in ditches with billy clubs and war hammers for years, dawg.¿Daggers 2000
REVENGE OF THE NERD This is responding to your am issue where Ronnie Creager is the am fingerboarder. I was just wondering where the hell I can get Tensor Tech trucks and how much they are. And what about the mini stickers he has on his fingerboard?¿Proness via e-mail
"I smell varmit poon-tang, and the only good varmit poon-tang is dead varmit poon-tang¿I think."¿Bill Murray, Caddyshack
THE THREE GS Three of my favorite skaters are Mark Gonzales, Guy Mariano, and Gino Iannucci. Everyone knows that those guys are amazing skaters and that they have incredible talent and style, but I barely see them in videos, magazines, or contests¿which to me means that they aren't really representing their own companies. I'm not trying to say that they're bad skaters or people or anything like that, but I was just wondering if getting coverage and representing a company is more important to being a successful pro skater than actually being a talented skater, because that's the impression I get sometimes. I'd also like to add that I'm not some kid who thinks those skaters owe me something or figure that Tom Penny should start skating a whole lot more because his job is to entertain me. That's bullshit, because a few weeks ago I was at a demo and I heard some little kids swearing at Jamie Thomas because he wouldn't do some trick and booing him when he missed tricks. I don't know if he heard them or not, but if pros have to deal with that kind of garbage, I'm glad that people like Tom Penny have decided not to exploit themselves for all of those stupid little kids out there. Anyway, thanks ffor listening to me whine, and keep up all of the good work with the magazine.¿Simon Liem, Alta, Canada
Hell yeah, Simon. It's good to see you have a positive attitude. As for kids heckling pros, it's just like Rocky III, bro. You just gotta get the eye of the tiger to step to Mr. T like, "I know you stole my Cheetos, bitch. Don't try and lie, neither, 'cause I can see your orange Cheeto funk fingers." Then boom! Right hook to his mohawk.¿Murdock
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY Dear Transworld, I love skaters and I've been getting this magazine forever, but in your am issue there's a picture of Sammy Baptista and he's freakin' hot! If you could include more of him, send me some stuff of him, or maybe just ... him, it would be greatly appreciated. Plus anything of Anthony Poppalardo¿he's sick.¿Carly Hanten, Glendale, Arizona
Dear Britney Spears, you don't have to pretend to be some girl named Carly in Arizona. We know you secretly want a piece of us. Next time you're in Oceanside, go ahead and stop by TransWorld. You can sit on my lap while we watch your greatest hits DVD.¿ShzS'YNC
RUFF WRITER I was just wondering if you needed any writers for Litterbox? I am very good at it because I have studied Joel and Tania's style. For instance, check this out:
Dear Litterbox, I just started skating. Could you give me some tips on how to skate?¿Jack Mehoff, Honesdale, California
Jack, I've got an idea! How about you go to hell and learn how to skate there? I'll send you a free ticket!¿Peter
See! I can break people just like you guys can! Damn. Here's a suggestion, get some prozac.¿Peter, New Orleans, Lousiana.
Peter, good work. Now, the first rule about Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. The second rule about Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.¿Shad Pitt
WHAT!? I noticed that in the last issue that that was not Heath Kirchart in the begining of the Riders' Poll for best all-around skater. My friend told me something very interesting. He said that most of the Heath Kirchart pics were not really him. I couldn't believe this! So I took out that issue and turned to the Heath Kirchart section. I guess you guys had some fun with a Kirchart wig and clothes. Tony "Kirchart" Hawk did a good job on that 540. Well, I just thought I'd let you guys know that it was kinda funny.¿Neumann, Visalia, California
Neumann, you should have looked a little closer (see next letter).¿Shza
BOOBY PRIZE Do I win anything for finding the sublimal B???S in the Birdhouse ad?¿Bill Braiden via e-mail
?????????????.¿S??d
